Q: she treats me very differnetly from my sister and brother. and i wont pretend i am the best person but i am generally easy to get on with and i dont ever intentionally cause trouble, and try to be nice to everyone. i think im a pretty decent person though like everyone at times i probabaly do annoy my mum. everything i do she critises, she doesnt even talk to me EVER. and i mean that ever, like we will sit in silence all day in the same room unless i strat conversation and even when i do shes very like one word answers e.t.c. my great nan is elderly now and i visit her everyday and my mum has started saying how im pretending to love her basically which i found really disgusting to say and how when i was younger i didnt care baout her, which i did but when i was a child at the end of the day i couldnt care for her. my brother has done a lot of bad bad stuff, even with police involved and yet she always is very talkative to him and forgives him, and shes just loving to him,likewise with my sister, though in fairness my sister is lovely. im the youngest.i just dont understand. do you think she hates me for something i dont realise i have done? i fee crap about it and i cant bring it up to her because anything she doesnt want to hear she shouts me down and just gets viscous and will say rude things about me. even when my friend died recently and i was crying she ignored me, and i dont mean to be attention seeking i just really needed her and she sat there looking at me but idnt say a word and then my dad came home and hugged me and calmed me down. sorry for the longness of this, theres much more but i know this is long enough already.and thanks if uve taken the time ro read this x
A: No one that doesn't know your mom, can fully answer this question of yours. Truth is, not all mothers are good at loving all their children. You don't talk about a dad. Could it be she felt that having a third child made her husband leave her? Could it be that she didn't want a third child and feels overwhelmed by it? Could it be you weren't always such a good child as you are now and she's having a hard time believing in the change? Could it be she believes you aren't who you try to present yourself as? Most mothers do love their children, even when they are bad at showing it. Most kids feel their parents hate them the most and love the others more so. Ask your siblings how they feel about their mother. Ask them if they ever feel like she hates them? You say your brother has gotten into a bunch of trouble, maybe she's too tired of watching and yelling at him to give much else to anyone else? Most kids feel their parents hate them and don't understand them. It's a normal feeling for almost every kid out there. I have two very younger brothers. Both will say that our mother likes the other one best. But my mother is missing something within and she doesn't feel love like normal people do. She let me know since i was born she hated me becasue i ruined her life. It hurt for years on end, and still isn't completely pain free. Hard to understand how a person can have a child and not love them. What i did was learn to move on. I stopped needing her to love me, stopped needed her approval. What you are doing, by hanging out with your grandmother, is the best and only thing to do. Next time she brings up the past offer her some information. Explain you have always loved your grandmother, but as a younger child found you were too busy to spend much time wiht her. NOw that you are older, you find you want to spend time with her. Explain to your mom, that if she can't understand growing up and changing, there's nothing more you can say about it. Fill your heart with love and acceptance from your grandmother. Try to believe that your mother does love you equally, even if she's being stupid and not showing it right now. Your mother is nothing more than a human being. She will make mistakes and sometimes doesn't know how to begin to fix them either. Maybe she's not forgiving you for being a brat in the past? Maybe she's too busy dealing with the main brat of the family and is too worn out to give more to you afterwards? Your brother sounds like the main brat to me from your description anyway. Soon you'll be grown up on in your own home. Surround yourself with older women who can show caring now. Hang out wiht friends who have great moms. Hang out with good aunts if you have them. You'll be alright in the long run.