Q: i dont believe she loves me much ,now lately i started to believe so when my marriage came and she is taking care of some stuff but other wise i dont ,she never was close to me ,and she says i hide things from her and i do because i was always afraid of her shouting and yelling she says she doesnt shout much when she starts i get freaked and i lose my mind also now she wants me to gain weight because my marriage is comming and i m so underweight as she thinks*i m under 100lb but i m not that skinny i still have thighs in LIKE a pig so i just deny what she says ,then she says i m stubborn and i m doing this to tease her? what can i do?
A: Dear Broken: I'll like to know ur age first. I am sorry that u have never believe ur mother loves u. I can't tell u if she does or not, however I like to believe mothers love their children. I too believe that helping u with u marriage (wedding) is a form of showing her love and support 4 u. However I see u have issues regarding the relationship w ur Mom. That is why letting know ur age is very important for giving suggestions to u. Anyways love can be demonstrated in many ways. Daughters can have hidden things from their parents, that depends of what is being hidden. If shes loud and freaks out u need to have a talk and let her know that u are requesting her doings to be modify. About ur weight (again you didn't mention ur age...and perhaps ur height, too) is a great concern as I can perceive that u may well be suffering or having issues w ur weight just by the way u express ur self. With this there isn't anything any of us can do or say until u do it for ur self. So if it so, u must get some help, which is not a bad idea at all. Your Mom is concerned about ur weight and as a Mom I believe it must be love. However u may be in denial about ur weight, which is understandable but u need to also give ur self a chance and analyze the situation where u may be suffering from something. The first step is to accepted and then get help. By the way what is ur weight?'; (the fact that u never mention ur actual way shows that YES, you may have problems with it). She is ur Mom and although u forgot to mention what makes u feel she never loved u or what took place in the past for u to feel that way which may be the roots of any of ur issues regarding ur weight but the fact is a mothers' concern for her daughter's weight and health is a great and a certain way to show love to a daughter. I believe ur Mom wants a healthy & beautiful daughter walking down the asile. In the end u need to accept too, that becuase she has lived longer that u she has more tools and knowlegde about life and is a good thing to a least explore the suggestions she gives. You may well be stubborn, too. I am at 40 yrs. We just have to accept it and modify our actions. Another suggestion, always think positive about any situation. Sit down with Mom respectfully and tell her how u feel. God bless u, me... from Patillas, PR