Q: please read all of this before u answer!!! if u dont read it then dont bother answering because i will report u. not to sound mean but im tired of asking questions that people dont really read. so please get all the way through it! ok we live in apartments and obviously see our neighbors alot. we have this one neighbor..shes really sweet but she is like losing her mind. she is an older lady that is pretty lonely and its pretty obvious. my husband and i smoke outside because we have a 5 month old son that we dont want inhaling the smoke. every single time we go out to smoke its like shes waiting on us and she wants to come up there and talk nonsense. and she walks so slow and has such a hard time getting around that she usually ends up getting to us just as we are finishing our cigarettes. we cant jsut get up and leave as soon as she gets there because she has such a hard time walking u know? she really needs to be in a home but she refuses to go. u cant understand half the things she says. i feel so bad for her. she cant bathe herself very well and she always smells like urine. her apartment is so disgusting that u cant breathe at all even if u r just outside the door. i can deal with having to talk to her when we go smoke...although it is annoying, but when we bring the baby outside to get some sun she always tries to kiss him and is always touching him. i REALLY dont like this. as soon as we go inside i want to scrub the baby down to get the germs off. not only that but there is supposedly staph infection going around and god only knows if shes carrying it. it makes me so nervous. i dont know what to do!!! i cant jsut up and tell her cause like i said she is losing her mind and she is VERY emotional. what should i do?? ok...i figured that if someone read my question they would answer it accurately. but apparently not. please do not answer this question if u are not going to try and help me with my neighbor! i dont need a lecture on my smoking. that is not useful of appropriate. i reported the person that answered that way and i really would like a real answer! i am not a mean person and i dont like having to report anyone or gripe about anyone so please just help me out! all im trying to do is keep from hurting a sweet old ladys feelings!
A: Good that you do not smoke around your child, but be aware that the fine particles in your cloths can still cause him issues. My father smoked and I turned out ok {I hope}. We have a 1 year old and a 3 year old and do not smoke but our neighbors do and that has never stoppedd us from hanging with them. That said here is the answer. The germ thing I would relax on a bit, but as a parent just ask her not to kiss on him put it off on yourself {say we are a bit overprotective please respect our wishes} That should do it in a light way. I have an 80 year old guy across the street who often walks over at the worst times. I just tell him well I need to go in because... thanks for stoppingg bye. You can impact this person in ways you never imagined, just be nice but also do not feel bad about terminating the conversation. "Hey thanks for walking down, hate to cut you off but we need to run, we'll chat later". You may offer to help her clean up her place. If that is not inviting for you contact a local maid service and pay for a few months service as a gift. (I know it is not your responsibility... but it could improve the situation.) You describe a fragile woman who may not like her conditionn any more than you do. Also find out in conversationn about her own kids and try and chat with them, as they may be unaware of how serious her condition is. You see her every day, they may see her a few hours a month or less. YOu may also ask the manager if there is something that can be done as the filth can be a health issue for the whole unit. Do it kindly and not in a nagging tone! Good luck! By the way the next 8 to 10 months with you son are the reward for those sleepless nights the first few months! Enjoy, you WILL laugh alott!